Faith History
Posted on Saturday, February 09, 2008 at 6:23 PM by Duncan Bouwer
I grew up in a home where we never went to church. Because I was in an Afrikaans school, where we practised Christianity as an institutionalised religion, I leant about the bible as a matter of course. I periodically went to camps etc. where I was indoctrinated into a Christian worldview along with everybody else.
In grade 6 I was asked to go to a bible study by a pastor who lived in the same block of flats as we did. Because I was lonely and unhappy I did. That evening I experienced the Holy Spirit. During the prayer I started crying inexplicably. I started attending an Assemblies of God church pastored by the man mentioned above. I can't remember if I actually made a commitment or not, but later on at school, during a camp, I had another experience with the Lord and did make a commitment.
One holiday when I was 16 I was visiting my father and got involved with the Invisible Church in Durban. This served to sort of boost me again for a while, because in between my commitment always lapsed.
When I got to university I got involved in homosexuality and because I couldn't reconcile it with my "faith", I lapsed to the point where I stopped believing completely. I also got involved with an atheist who was my lover for 7 years, and this was the nail in the coffin.
When he left the country in 1989, I started a journey to rediscover my spiritual roots. I started reading about the occult and Wicca, Theosophy, the Caballah, etc., and worshipped Diana the moon goddess, and Faunus, the sun god. I started praying again, having a real sense of connection with whomever was praying to (by this time I was praying to a sort of a Christ Consciousness- a new age concept).
In 1990 I did the musical Godspell, in which I played the role of Jesus. I had to memorise large portions of scripture, and did a good job-- people testified to recommitting their lives to God after the performance etc.-- an irony since I was smoking dope every day, leading others astray with my new age beliefs etc.
In June of 1991 I was walking in the park with my dog, praying as usual, and then I just knew that I had to stop fooling myself. I knew that I praying to the Lord of all, Jesus, and had to acknowledge it. I informed a Christian friend of the fact later in the day, she invited me to a home cell, and the rest is history. I started attending the church she went to, where I am to this day, 16 years later.
My life has completely changed. When I committed my life to the Lord in 1991, people testified to the fact that my face and even my voice changed. I love God and have learnt the skill of worshipping him. He is the whole reason for my existence. Anything that doesn't contribute to that reality must go.
I attended a 2 year course in practical ministries between 1993 and 1994 and was in full-time ministry until 2006 after which I left to pursue a career in Journalism.
Edited on: Sunday, February 10, 2008 7:54 AM